Breaking the habit of people pleasing requires courage and... the opportunity to practice. It is not easy to set firm boundaries straight away. And that's OK. Here are 5 proven ways to break free from people pleasing that don't require radical changes.
1.
⏰Buy Time
When a request comes your way, instead of an immediate YES, offer to think about it and get back to the person later. That will allow you to reflect on whether you want to / can accommodate the request or not and prepare a well-thought response.
2.
❤️️ Your Needs Matter, Too
If you feel guilty about declining an invite, remember that saying YES to your own needs is OK. The essence of people pleasing is prioritizing the needs of others over yours. To break the habit - means to practice saying YES to yourself first.
3.
🤚Limit Availability
Set a limit for how much time you can spend on something or what exactly you can do for someone. You don’t have to give your 100%. It's OK to say that you will be available only for 2 hours or that you can help out with a concrete part of XYZ but not with the whole thing.
4.
🐥Small Steps
Start with a small change. The more you practice the easier it will be to gradually set new, important boundaries. Don't force yourself to come out of your comfort zone all at once. Breaking the people pleasing habit is a journey with many milestones on the way.
5.
🎭Role-Play
Seek professional support (e.g. coaching or mentoring). Role-playing conversations will prepare you for the real deal. You will be able to observe yourself in "action" - and learn how to be OK with the discomfort. That will empower you to change your default response when "in the moment".
Check out our free webinars and upcoming workshops on people pleasing to learn practical tools on how to prioritize your mental wellbeing both at home and at work.
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